July! Don’t Panic… breathe
Monday
Well what a weekend, as a Civil Servant I ponder what I can say. Maybe by the end of the week I’ll have worked that out. Personally though sad to see Mark go. And if you read these Mark 😆 please keep the Lego. Amongst many other things I’m wondering what is an appropriate gift for your successor. I also heard that one of my Guru’s is leaving the Civil Service, very sad but also I’m very happy.
I panicked today. So much going on at once, I’m sure I’m missing connections. I must try and not to overly panic anyone else. I have a sense that I am not sufficiently focused, and tiny bumps or additional process loops that I knew existed but I hadn’t focused on can throw me off course.
Tomorrow I will write down and map out all the things that need my attention.
Tuesday
I did not, Map out all the things or use Trello. I felt tense in my stomach and then later today both happy and sad at the same time. I chatted through what the priorities are, and one thing got shelved, though in true David style I saw it as an opening for something else.
My teaching has been patchy, but I just can’t do much right now and I know that we will continue over the summer. I did a call with people I love (no not a family call). It made me ponder many things.
In the evening I went to a thing with about 324 people from all over the world — it was blissful. I focused on Hope as my value.
In that session we were using the work of Donella Meadows as a guide, if your not familiar here is a quote and a link to get to started. If you are familiar I’d love to have a chat.
For those who stake their identity on the role of omniscient conqueror, the uncertainty exposed by systems thinking is hard to take. If you can’t understand, predict, and control, what is there to do?
As I come to bed I feel both purposeful and determined. I also have no idea how long I will stay in the Civil Service or if it the right place for me now, but now is not the time to ponder that, there will be a time but it is not now.
Wednesday
I came at Wednesday with purpose. Before OneTeamGov I got into what I needed to do and set things in train 🚂. My focus meant I missed the need to support, but Sam and Nour picked it up, and did a very fine job. It was a nice chat. I need to go through the micro actions with Sam, I should find a date for that.
I went to a session for community managers on inclusion. In our group this came up (I’m not going to use the lady’s name). She was positive about it, I read it latter and then started to use the questions to build a survey in Slido.
With a few additions – that I’m still considering.
Sent the email I needed to send (and then sent again) I had got numbers wrong, this is very unlike me. On the numbers front in Maths today we worked out that Eloise’s paddling pool holds 7033 cups of water.
I also had a lovely chat with one of the Champions ahead of the session tomorrow. It made me think about many things. I popped my ore into something, I really felt the need.
I think we’re all set for tomorrow for the Champions Network session. I guess though only time will tell.
Thursday
I had one mission, make sure I opened the Zoom call for the Champions Network. I managed it — with 20mins to spare — big smiles. The workshop went well, or seemed too, Debs was great and Alex was on point too. Calm and understated as ever, but a force for good and a force for change.
I dipped into a document I shouldn't have it through me of key again. Right now I’m swinging all over the place between I’m doing the right thing, were doing the right thing to hang on is that the right thing it feels like were going round in a loop.
But a chat latter in the day settled me back, well reflection on it did. Though I also got some what felt like inevitable news, that will in time mean I need to readjust.
I added these questions to the diversity survey that the GDS Design team did.
I get paid more than £65,000
I get paid more than £25,000
I am always listened to, at work, when I speak
I often get the credit for team effort
I think like most people I know
and popped them into Slido — we will see how it goes down. Tomorrow I need to wrestle myslef into the team calendar to set up a regular slot, following my previous unsuccessfull attempts it will I’m sure be fun.
Friday
I woke up grumbling to myself about the comments I had seen on a document.
I had a good day. I had two lovely chats in the afternoon that both lifted my spirits, not that they needed lifting. I’m back to working in a pattern that suits me and I seemed to be on top of everything related to the Champions Network which is a great feeling… even though I know it’s only temporary.
We did a survey of when to hold the regular slot, for the Champions Network the majority of the group wanted an early one 08:00–09:00 and though I knew that wouldn’t sit well with people with younger children as it’s what the group wanted I went with it. Actually knowing who you are marginalised is a good thing. I also don’t see it as the only opportunity for people to meet just a regular one, a virtual home as it were.
Reflections
As the week draws to an end and I look back, I feel quite settled, not that I am resigned to what ever I am a part, but that I am supported by both people in and leading the reform team as well as the communities that I’m part of and that is a lovely feeling. In practice this simply means I can be David. If I could bottle this feeling I would.
